DATING: How to Properly Slide into Someone’s DMs


For those of you who are unaware of what exactly “sliding in DMs” is, let me clarify.

DM sliding: The act of private or direct messaging on social media outlets, specifically Instagram and Twitter. Normally, the end goal of “sliding” into one’s DMs is to get a phone number, meet in person, or relay one’s innermost, thirsty thoughts to an unsuspecting social media user.

Just like approaching someone IRL (does this even happen anymore?), there are ways to appropriately communicate with someone to obtain their interest. DMs can be charismatic and not a shameless, 100 character, copy and pasted, BASIC, displays of the utmost thirst.

Let’s break this down.

First and foremost, do your research. You have access to this person’s innermost 140 characters on Twitter. How someone utilizes their Instagram can be pretty indicative of their day-to-day as well. Find something to DM about here. Conversely, also find what NOT to DM about here.



Use correctly spelled words. Ironically spelled or sarcastic words work, too. You have autocorrect, Google, and the entire World Wide Web at your finger tips. You got this.

Do not come off thirsty. Many individuals will not lfe this, and they will come off DEHYDRATED in a DM. Have some pride and a water. You know who responds to thirst? Individuals that need constant affirmation live for thirsty DMs.

Do better. So you have your message drafted. Ask yourself, “Is there any way someone has sent this exact same message?” to your recipient. For example, if you must send a compliment on a physical feature (which I wholeheartedly oppose), comment on something you think is rarely mentioned. If they are accentuating one feature, comment on something else. 


Essentially, this person’s entire timeline should be full of potential ideas for you, unless it’s full of selfies, which is an entirely different discussion in and of itself. I strongly recommend a compliment and maybe even a question. Compliments on things like music they posted, an outfit they have on or their shoes reflect that you like their taste, while compliments on their body/face don’t really offer an easy avenue for the conversation continuing. Similarly, if you’re going to ask a question, consider: “Where did you see that/get that (super unique thing in their pic)?” over “how tall are you?”

Instagram Bonus: What the image you choose to send says to your recipient.

  • Sending a pic of yourself kind of says you’re looking for approval or maybe trying to flex.
  • Selecting a pic of them may give a reference of what you’re talking about or you could come off kind of like a creep. Choose wisely.
  • Scenery, something you’re actually going to discuss, puppies or an image that depicts an action (activities, dinner, drinks, see where I’m going here?) are safe and usually well received OR could suggest what you’re saying has more value.


Aside from the bonus section, miraculously, you can apply ALL of these DM tips to approaching individuals IRL. I know, wild. Also, I bet you’ll have better chemistry with someone you successfully DM with rather than swipe right on.

DM with conviction and use caution. Lastly, the screen shot will get you. And what better to do with a wild DM message than for a recipient to post it on their public timeline? Don’t get got.

Holla at ya girl:
T: @RaeWitte
IG: @RaeWitte


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