DATING: The Secret Way To Get Them To Stop Texting You


Can we all agree that it’s easier to get along with someone that has similar texting etiquette as you? Someone with whom the conversation just flows effortlessly, starting and ending naturally?

In the first place, we’re texting to carry on a conversation, or, perhaps, make plans. Subsequently, in order to determine plans, or chat, or whatever–other humans must have your number. And for some reason, in 2015, it’s still assumed that once a female gives a male her phone number, she’s interested. But really, the phone number is just the tip of the iceberg that is modern courtship.

So, women, you misjudged. You gave someone your number, and you’ve been receiving a mixed bag of “hey,” “good morning,” and “wyd” texts ever since that are, usually, nothing more than an indication that yes–he is indeed thinking about you (and whoever else is possibly receiving these half-assed attempts to communicate). Or, alternatively, you just flat-out, carelessly gave your number to someone (to get them to shut up and go away?) with no intention of proceeding further with any form of relationship, and unfortunately, this heckler’s dating strategy revolves around obliviously robotic persistence.


Regardless, the incessantly aimless, painstakingly careless and inconsistent texting needs to cease.

But how?

You may have tried the whole cut-all-communication thing — not responding and what not. But let me be the first to tell you, unless you want to handle that conversation awkwardly and unexpectedly IRL, then consider a new option. Your radio silence, due to your assumed death, will not bode well should you run into the shameless texter face-to-face. This is ALWAYS possible, and if not, you probably exist on social media at some capacity while you’re dodging texts, so stop.

This is what you do. It’s a novel idea, but…

Be honest.

If you can be rude enough to not answer someone endlessly reaching out to you, how different is it if you just tell them the truth? Further, if it’s their feelings you’re worried about, you’re lying to yourself. Your guilt would’ve had you responding, politely. Now, what do you actually say?


You could say exactly how you feel.

Figure out why you don’t want them texting you, and tactfully tell them. Expectedly, this can seem a little daunting. Your other option? Take responsibility. “It’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t see this going anywhere.” This actually has a bit of truth to it. It isn’t so much that there is something wrong with you (because, let’s be honest, there isn’t), but more that “it’s you” because the feeling of interest is not reciprocal.

Don’t make up things like you’re dating someone else or you’re “emotionally unavailable” (the WORST). This is about respect and how you would want to be treated as well. Besides, if you can tackle the desire to stop texting head-on via text, think of what you’ll be capable of face-to-face. The possibilities are endless.

Bonus: In order to prevent any of these circumstances from happening, don’t feel obligated or pressured to give out your number or, similarly, to pull the “charming sarcasm, but I mean it” move (i.e. “You aren’t going to text me constantly, are you?” as you flash a fantastically warm and dead serious grin his way).

Although, it is easier said than done, you have options. Once, a very persistent young man would not let up until I took or gave him my number. I very candidly explained to him that he could call, but I did not have any interest in going out. He lived in Toronto. I live in NY. He approached me in Miami. Just, no, on so many levels.

So I told him, “You can call if you’d like, but it’s unlikely I’ll respond,” with a very friendly smile. Guess what I did when he called? Exactly what I said. At the end of the day, if you know your intentions and keep things transparent, you will essentially have nothing to worry about.

Bye, #textingprobs.


Holla at ya girl:
T: @RaeWitte
IG: @RaeWitte


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