I love New York. I love it even when I really hate it. I love it in the rain. I love it in the summer. I love it during the day, and in the middle of the night. I love it for its loudness, and IDGAF attitude. I love it for its beautiful people, and even more, for its intellectual people. I love it for its culture and its energy. And I really f**king missed it while I was in LA. That being said, as spectacular as it is, it can also be gritty, and lonely, and cold, and can make you feel smaller than you’ve ever thought possible. That being said, I think what I love most about New York is that it teaches you not to be entitled. You only deserve what you earn. The city isn’t everyone’s idea of paradise. But it’s my twisted paradise.
Here are some of the realities of living in New York in your early twenties.
Whether it’s been a lifelong dream, or you’ve just recently caught the bug — start spreading the news, YOU’RE LEAVING TODAY.
You’ll try in vain to avoid it, but you WILL make the mistake of doing something super touristy. And New Yorkers will judge you.
At first, as a single in the city, you’ll feel super Carrie Bradshaw about it.
But New York is FULL of couples. All the time. Everywhere you look. Year-round. You’ll ponder how it’s possible that everyone and their brother has a significant other… except you.
Soon, you’ll start to wonder if they’re all plants, and THE CITY HAS BEEN RIGGED AGAINST YOU, AND IS ENJOYING WATCHING YOU SUFFER!
But then you’ll fall in love, and love LOVE, and become part of the couple conspiracy.
And then you’ll break up, and be lonely again. It’s a vicious cycle. 🙂
Sometimes, you’ll be walking down a seemingly nice/safe street, and see a woman who seems a bit off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it, and then you’ll realize…
Sometimes, you will be mistaken for a hooker. Especially if you make the mistake of walking to the club wearing a trenchcoat and heels. Oops. Won’t make that mistake twice.
Unless you’re loaded or famous, you’ll probably live in at least one utterly ridiculous apartment. It’ll be small, outrageously expensive, and won’t look anything like the ad on Craigslist.
But it’s all you can afford right now, so you sign a lease. Reluctantly.
The lease signing will be an excruciatingly stressful process that may leave you temporarily insane.
Then, you get to move in! If you don’t live in an elevator building, it’s gonna be a REAL PARTY getting that furniture up four flights of stairs! WOO!
After moving into your new crib, a multitude of problems (maintenance, pests, noise, smoke alarms going off at 3 a.m.) will arise, and you’ll come to the horrifying conclusion that the broker totally swindled to you.
But you’ll eventually make the space your own, and it’ll become charming. Unless you can’t afford furniture, lolz!
Starting out, you’ll almost never have enough money to go shopping.
You’ll eat some really awful frozen meals from Trader Joe’s, because you either can’t cook, or can’t afford anything better.
But you’ll also eat a lot of illogically delicious New York pizza, because it’s 99 CENTS, WHAT?!?!
Fortunately, if you’re a girl, you don’t need money to party. #ClubPromoters
Sometimes, you’ll get a burst of courage, and rashly decide to go explore neighborhoods in other boroughs that you know absolutely nothing about, and as soon as you get off the subway…
City transit — particularly the L train — will make you extremely, extremely angry.
But, at the end of the day, you’ll acknowledge that it is, by far, the most sophisticated public transportation system in America. Plus, there’s no telling who you’ll see!
But avoid a corporate fashion job, if you can. They really are that bad.
And gradually, you’ll become effortlessly fabulous, and will realize you’re slowly, but surely, taking over the world and doing the coolest shit EVER. #blessed