The backlash against #YesAllWomen further proves the necessity for the movement. I’m having trouble articulating how all of this makes me feel, but it’s a wild mix of rage and confusion toward the ignorant — and worse, the educated — people who insist on triviliazing the matter.
My question is: Why are men making this about MEN? This is OUR moment. This is OUR woe. Sexism is FINALLY being recognized in a meaningful, mainstream, and viral way. It’s bad enough that men have thousands of years of social, political, and religious superiority under their universal belt. Now they’re entitled to sob over a misogyny-driven massacre, and somehow, twist it into their own tragedy?
Misogyny, sexism, and the horrifying omnipresence of rape culture can’t be solved in a day — nor in thousands of years, as is evidenced by human history. But let’s get a few basic things straight, guys.
1) #YesAllWomen have been cat-called. Probably multiple times. Probably once a day. And my question to the men who do it is — has that EVER worked for you?
2) I wear what I wear, because I like it. It says nothing about my sexuality. The most scantily-clad woman I’ve ever known is also the most chaste. So there you have it.
3) We really, REALLY do not want to be hit on all the goddam time.
4) Do not touch, grope, or grab us. And no, just because we’re dancing with you, that is not an excuse to sexually assault us.
5) When we’re having a drink with a friend, and you walk up and blatantly interrupt to buy us a drink we don’t want or need you to buy, we try to be polite. For about 10 seconds.
6) After that point, we divert to Plan B.
7) Sometimes, we will take you up on that drink. Because maybe, you’re cute or clever, and won us over with your open. This does not mean you’re getting laid.
8) And when you ask why we aren’t getting drunk, it’s because…
9) But if we DO happen to get hammered on any given night, it’s because we want to have fun. Not because we’re asking to be raped.
10) Even if we do this.
11) Also, video vixens do not represent real women, nor what they want, nor how they wish to be treated by men. Video vixens are the product of music video producers’ pornography-inspired imaginations.
12) Some women tease, and send you mixed signals. I apologize for the misunderstanding. But they still don’t want to be raped.
13) Finally — please accept that you know NOTHING about the woman’s experience, nor what we go through on a daily basis. If you’re not helping us, you’re hurting us. The best men are the men who try to understand, not the men who argue the movement.
Now, go watch this video, and help end the hatred, violence, objectification, and disrespect.